MSS Finished

I Couldn't Pay the Ferryman is finished, all bar the shouting!

The manuscript is finished, thanks to those nice people who worked so hard to make sure that none of my little slipups make it to the finished product.

"Powerful", "Emotional", "Gripping" and "Enlightening" are just a few of the words have been given to describe the story. Personally, I'm dead chuffed that I have been able to complete the thing, all in 7 weeks from start to finish.

It felt like a huge burden that I had to be rid of, and once begun, I couldn't walk away from it. To have stopped at any stage as the memories were revisited would have sounded the death knell as I'm certain I would not have been able to start again. Ever.

So, thanks to many words of encouragement and support, it is done and I feel immensely relieved and, may I say, proud?

I'm just waiting for the cover art, when I can upload to Lulu, and then, provided that the first print proof copy comes out as it intended, then I shall release it onto the market.

Naturally, I'll let you know when it all finally comes together.

Happy reading!

Oh, by the way. I think I ought to tell you that Ferryman will carry an 'advisory' in that it contains a couple of instances of strong language - each entirely appropriate and non-gratuitous. There are also graphic mental images which may be disturbing and emotional!

I've now gone back to where I left off with "Will't Thou Have a Cuppa?" which is the third in the autobiographical series. This will be a long time coming!

Almost there!

I'm taking a few minutes break to announce that Ferryman is almost complete. I can 'see' the ending, which will be very soon; I can't imagine it being any more than a couple more chapters, but then, it might take another one to wrap up.

Once I have the MSS, the hard part begins - the editing. This is where I read through to eliminate any wastage or un-needed material. I know there are some bits in there which will not be missed unduly if I delete them, as they are not really essential to the story, but then again, should I remove them, it might be too great a sacrifice! We'll have to wait to see what mood I'm in when I get to them.

In case you are not aware of what it's all about, let me give you an introduction:-

Introduction.

I have demons within me which have been my constant companion for many years. I must cast out these evil spirits since they have given me so much fear and created so much anxiety for too long, far too long.

This story is my personal odyssey which begins with me as a happy husband, blessed with a lovely wife and four healthy children.

The momentous saga will unfold in these pages as my reluctant footsteps take me again to the very edge of darkness as I am confronted by the final, abysmal depths of the mythical Underworld.

Though the route is known, I may stumble on the way, as I’m confronted again by those demons that I seek to evict from my mind. It is extremely painful for me to write and to relive those times; the memories are disturbing, especially in the night, when my defences are low.

Of course, my Darling Bride, my dear sweet Lady Wife, who has been my rock and anchor, my point of sanity, shared parts of that first journey. She and the family, not merely our own children, but the wider family, suffered the consequences of its effect on me.

This new journey through my mind will, if all goes well, uncover and expurgate those festering sores, those spectres and ghouls, those creatures of darkness which even now, after all these years, affect my living, my very existence.

Come with me then, as I retrace each step of that momentous journey, as I ride the rollercoaster of health and emotion following ‘My little accident’.

Please be patient - the book will be with you very soon, and in the meantime, don't have nightmares - wait until you've read The Ferryman!

The Ferryman Cometh!

The Ferryman continues to row his way over the pages of the new book at a great pace, so that now I'm able to forecast a completion time scale (God willing).

Piecing it together has been a bit of a problem in that the chronological sequences do not fall exactly right, as I've taken a bit of a liberty with the calendar. Rather than a dull day to day diary, I've tried to create an adventure, a saga if you like, of my life (such as it was) over the recent few years following the incident which brought about the changes.

The actual wordage is fine and I'm reasonably content with the result - whether this state will remain when I come to the review and edit stage is another matter, but for now, it's looking good. Those are not my words.

The actual words cropping up so far include "compelling" "horrifying" "unputdownable" and one chap told me that a certain piece that he read was "the best bit of writing you've done so far". I have to confess a certain puzzlement here - does he mean that it is very good or does he mean that my previous work was crap?

Anyway, I'm sure that you'll want to know that I have completed 36,798 words over 149 pages. There are two or three milestones to come and I estimate that something like another 100 pages should cover it!

You might like this extract from one of the nightmares:-

In the dim light, I begin to make out objects both in and on the water, all of them seemingly travelling in the same direction as my small boat.

I feel safe in the boat inasmuch as I do not fear capsize, yet there is something here which should terrify me, I can feel it. My hands grip the gunwales each side of me, my fingers tight, hurting with the force of holding on.

My legs begin to hurt, as does my wound, and my head is sharp. I’m on the lookout for them. I’m keeping good watch, yet I feel safe from them. On the other hand, something tells me I have no right to feel secure and safe.
Something is wrong, and I know not what.

There is a little more light and I see, in the water, below the surface, fish, large fish or mammals, but they are not swimming – they are idling along, as I am, keeping pace with me. One comes closer, ever closer, as the current, for there is a distinct movement of water now, brings us slowly together, as if we are on the same journey.

I’m fascinated by this object and lean over to take a look to see what it is. At first, it is indistinct, a pale shape in the dim underwater light. As I lean over, it bobs suddenly to the surface.

I hope you like it!

Silly me

A small correction to the last entry. I spotted that my 'adderupperer' had a little glitch. My mental arithmatic has thrown up a fault.

The total pages so far is 119 and not 99.

Something else has become noticeable over the past few weeks, ever since I started this particular project. For many years, ever since the 'accident' in fact, I've known that, some day, I would write about what happened to me and the aftermath.

The problem has been in summoning the strength and courage to face it, to dig into my mind to gather the details of the incident and the nightmares, the conditions of everyday living etc - all those things that would be necessary to produce a readable story.

Some said that for me to do so would be cathartic, some said it would be disastrous. The former has been the case so far, with a strange little side effect.

For so long, I've been unable to remember simple telephone numbers, numbers that I call quite often. I have had to refer to my little card file for the registration details and passwords of websites that I use regularly.

Suddenly, I can remember some of them! You don't know how much pleasure it gives me to pick up the phone, dial a number and find that it's the right one! The wrong numbers I've dialled are legion!

Logging in to this website, for instance, is much easier now as I don't have to refer to the card and copy down the numbers and digits required to gain access. It's wonderful, I tell you, really great!

I thought you might like to know!

This is today, of course. Tomorrow is another day!

"Ferryman" proceeds apace

Not having said anything for a little while, I thought it about time I wrote an update, so that all those nice people out there will know what's happening.

As I've said many times, it ain't easy delving into the dark depths of my mind so as to root out all those bad memories. Oh it's easy enough actually diving in there, it's the confrontation that causes me pain. It helps knowing that the job needs to be done, but plucking up enough courage to actually do it is proving somewhat of a bind.

As I write, I'm torn between actually experiencing those things again and standing apart so as to view them from a distance, as if it all happened to someone else. The strange thing is that once I have them written down, I am able to read them from a third party point of view - just as if it all happened to some other poor sod.

This is the current situation. As of this morning, when I completed the latest chapter, the score stands thus:-

As of this morning, I've written 16 chapters, covering 99 pages containing 29,494 words.

(please remember that I only started on 'Ferryman' once 'Tomorrow' was done and dusted).

Obviously, I cannot guarantee that all those words are good 'uns, since this is only 'first draft', but it 'feels right' to me and it seems to scan well, plus first reviews are extremely positive, which is nice.

So, good people, there you have it. You shall have it in your sticky little mitts as quickly as my two good typing fingers will permit and I promise you - I'm working as hard as I can!

Here are the words!

For all those who, for one reason or another, cannot read all those nice words that the kind gentleman wrote about me in the newspaper article, here they are.

I've transcribed them verbatim from the Worksop Guardian of 21st November 2008.

FACTORY WORKER, POLICEMAN, MINER'S SON.........ALL IN MY BOOK!

by Stuart Bussingham

Like many before him, Charles White believed he had a story in him when he reached retirement age.

But instead of just thinking about it, Charles fired up his computer and created not one, but TWO books based on his observations on his early life in Worksop.

"Right throughout my life I had always had a love of words and the English language," said Charles, of Plantation Hill, Worksop.

"But it took a spell in hospital, where I almost lost my life, to really motivate me into taking action"

Charles was born in Worksop as one of nine children and, right from the start, ensuring everyone had something to eat was a considerable task for his mother.

Consequently, when Charles won a scholarship to Southwell Minster School, she saw it as one less mouth to feed, and the fact that he was receiving an education at the same time was like an answered prayer.

Although he didn't capitalise on the education he received at Southwell, in later years he was grateful for the grounding he received there.

"It was also quite something for a miner's son to win a scholarship at a school as presitigious as Southwell in those days," he said.

His education completed, Charles returned to his family home in Manton and a job at what was Shaw's Wire Ropes, on Sandy Lane.

"I was a humble sales clerk working in the sales office," he said, "but at least I was able to put my love of numbers to good use."

He eventually liked the idea of being a policeman and joined the Derbyshire Constabulary as soon as he was able.

But it didn't take him long to realise that it was not the job for him. The police force in those days was vastly different to how it is nowadays, and Charles soon saw that he had made a mistake.

Things hadn't worked out as expected and following a failed marriage, he returned to Worksop to work first of all at Bairnswear, followed by a stint at General Descaling.

Since then, he has been more or less unemployed, apart from his writing.

Charles stresses that his books are not a diary. "They are a series of personal recollections - events as I remember them as seen through my eyes. I think they should be of interest to local readers," he said.

And they are already creating interest around the world.

A prolific writer, Charles already has two books more books currently in production, one recounting his experiences through his illness entitled I Couldn't Pay The Ferryman and Will't Tha Have A Cuppa?, based on the Derbyshire people he came across while a serving policeman.

"When I was ill I lost a lot of my self - confidence," he said.

"But writing my books has helped to bring it back and give me a new lease of life. I hope others enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them!"

Famous in my own neighbourhood!

I had a chap from our local paper come to visit me a couple of weeks or so ago in order to interview me about my writing.

We chatted for about an hour, he took a few pics and left, leaving me in a state of trepidation, anticipating the potential for embarassment coming up. I mean, all those things that one says.

My innate modesty will take a pounding, I think and the rest of my street cred will be destroyed.

The picture he chose, was, by agreement, dual purpose. Let me explain.

The newspaper is trying to do its bit for the 'environment' and to help where it can in these times of credit crunch and so on, so the picture they chose will serve two purposes.

One, it will set the atmosphere of doom and horror for the forthcoming Ferryman and

Two, if cut out from the paper and stuck to the dustbins, will serve to keep wild animals away! And burglars!

Here's the article. I've taken the liberty of scanning it from The Worksop Guardian since they have not put it on to their website, which seems most remiss.